It already kind of looks like R2D2...

Today’s 12-Volt Wet/Dry Vac with Car Adapter makes a great deal of the day and all, but does it really represent the most advanced car-cleaning technology available to us?  Don’t get me wrong, my car is going to be a lot less filthy once I plug that sucker into the cigarette lighter and go to town with the “crevice tool,” but handy as this vac is, I think humanity could be doing better.  After all, I don’t vacuum my home anymore; friendly disc-shaped robots handle that for me now.  So why haven’t they produced a Roomba for my car?

Now, regular readers of this blog know that I’m no stranger to taking our electrical engineers and, uh, roboticists to task for what I see as a critical failure to transform our world into a reality resembling “The Jetsons.”  But think about it this way:  We have robot vacuums.  We have car vacuums.  Why, then, do we not have robot car vacuums?  Are robots really too stupid to figure out how to use an upholstery brush?  Please!  Let’s give robots a little credit.  They already wash the outside of our cars at every corner gas station.  I think it’s time we turn ‘em loose on the interior, don’t you?

2 million is more candles than you'll probably ever need

Thanks to today’s daily deal, you can now have the power of 2 million candles in the palm of your hand for the low, low price of only $23.99.  I think we can all agree that that’s way less than what 2 million candles would cost you, so you’re coming out way ahead on this deal.  Plus, where would you even put two million candles?  It’s not as if any fire marshal in the country is going to allow 2 million lit candles inside any building anywhere.  Outdoors, then?  How do you propose to keep them all lit?  Screw the candles.  I’m getting the cordless rechargeable spotlight instead!

I have to say, I’m having a great time thinking of all the fun things I’m going to do with a two-million-candle power spotlight once it finally arrives.  Maybe I’ll build a makeshift stage in the basement, aim the spotlight at it, and pretend I’m Ted Nugent ripping out a solo on tour with Damn Yankees.  Better yet, maybe I’ll just stop paying my light bill and just use the spotlight to light my home after dark!

Heck, maybe I’ll just bring it on by the local candle-maker’s shop just to show off how obsolete he’s become.  Then I’ll hand him a spotlight of his own, all wrapped up in holographic paper because we’re living in the future now.  Sure, he’s a complete stranger and everything, but for $23.99, I can afford to give a few away!