Thanks to today’s daily deal, you can now have the power of 2 million candles in the palm of your hand for the low, low price of only $23.99.  I think we can all agree that that’s way less than what 2 million candles would cost you, so you’re coming out way ahead on this deal.  Plus, where would you even put two million candles?  It’s not as if any fire marshal in the country is going to allow 2 million lit candles inside any building anywhere.  Outdoors, then?  How do you propose to keep them all lit?  Screw the candles.  I’m getting the cordless rechargeable spotlight instead!

I have to say, I’m having a great time thinking of all the fun things I’m going to do with a two-million-candle power spotlight once it finally arrives.  Maybe I’ll build a makeshift stage in the basement, aim the spotlight at it, and pretend I’m Ted Nugent ripping out a solo on tour with Damn Yankees.  Better yet, maybe I’ll just stop paying my light bill and just use the spotlight to light my home after dark!

Heck, maybe I’ll just bring it on by the local candle-maker’s shop just to show off how obsolete he’s become.  Then I’ll hand him a spotlight of his own, all wrapped up in holographic paper because we’re living in the future now.  Sure, he’s a complete stranger and everything, but for $23.99, I can afford to give a few away!